Blue Dickies
I donned the blue dickies early last week. I don't actually own any of my own, so I had to borrow a pair of Aaron's. This implies that about 40% of the pants were crumpled down around my ankles.
For me to earn my stripes as a Grease Monkey, the main job of the day was to change Aaron's front disk brakes. On one side the pad was completely worn down and the rotor nearly destroyed. On the other side the rotor and calipers were still usable, we just needed to replace the pads.
Without boring you with the details, I learned an important fact: Something as small as a single nut can add many hours to an otherwise simple job! Problems like this can be avoided by taking care when doing routine maintenance on your car, and by not over-tightening nuts and bolts.
So because of a very stubborn nut, which Aaron had several choice words for, a job that should have taken 2-4 hours ended up taking two days. There is also a remote possibility that my presence might have slowed down the progress a little bit... But once I figured out how to use the floor jack I was off and running.
I also have to brag that at one point I sprayed brake cleaner into my eye. Just a word of caution, but getting something that dissolves grease into one's eye is not a pleasant experience. I thought surely this act of bravery would earn me credit as a Grease Monkey. I was wrong. It turns out that everyone agrees that this is a stupid thing to do.
The final rite of passage for becoming a Grease Monkey is actually far worse. It is something that would make even the most hardened Navy Seal quiver. Just the sight of it would kill those with OCD. The path from tinkering amateur to Grease Monkey is completed by one thing (brace yourself): Eating without washing one's hands.
I did this. With oil, brake fluid, brake cleaner, new grease, old grease and other car guts all over my hands and under my fingernails I ate dinner. In a garage there is just no time to clean up for meals.
And thus I earned my stripes. We also changed the oil in both our car's, but to a Grease Monkey this is as trivial as ordering tacos.
I would like to thank Ford, General Motors, Saturn, Autozone, Spring Hardware, and my advisor, Aaron Chilcutt for making this possible.
Jacob Foshee G.M., M.S.
For me to earn my stripes as a Grease Monkey, the main job of the day was to change Aaron's front disk brakes. On one side the pad was completely worn down and the rotor nearly destroyed. On the other side the rotor and calipers were still usable, we just needed to replace the pads.
Without boring you with the details, I learned an important fact: Something as small as a single nut can add many hours to an otherwise simple job! Problems like this can be avoided by taking care when doing routine maintenance on your car, and by not over-tightening nuts and bolts.
So because of a very stubborn nut, which Aaron had several choice words for, a job that should have taken 2-4 hours ended up taking two days. There is also a remote possibility that my presence might have slowed down the progress a little bit... But once I figured out how to use the floor jack I was off and running.
I also have to brag that at one point I sprayed brake cleaner into my eye. Just a word of caution, but getting something that dissolves grease into one's eye is not a pleasant experience. I thought surely this act of bravery would earn me credit as a Grease Monkey. I was wrong. It turns out that everyone agrees that this is a stupid thing to do.
The final rite of passage for becoming a Grease Monkey is actually far worse. It is something that would make even the most hardened Navy Seal quiver. Just the sight of it would kill those with OCD. The path from tinkering amateur to Grease Monkey is completed by one thing (brace yourself): Eating without washing one's hands.
I did this. With oil, brake fluid, brake cleaner, new grease, old grease and other car guts all over my hands and under my fingernails I ate dinner. In a garage there is just no time to clean up for meals.
And thus I earned my stripes. We also changed the oil in both our car's, but to a Grease Monkey this is as trivial as ordering tacos.
I would like to thank Ford, General Motors, Saturn, Autozone, Spring Hardware, and my advisor, Aaron Chilcutt for making this possible.
Jacob Foshee G.M., M.S.
5 Comments:
Haha - good story. But you didn't "dawn" your blue dickies. You "donned" them. ;)
-CDC01
I'm a grease monkey too. My senior year in high school i dated a guy who was big into cars. And we used to eat cheetoes without washing our hands.
My experience has taught me that even though the bigger tires were cheaper, if they dont fit your car dont get them. So my ex had an 89 jeep wrangler, and he bought tires that were too big. And he decided that a lift kit was too expensive and he had this grand cheap idea.
So if any of you know anything about Jeeps they have these leafspring things that connect the axil and the rest of the car. They look like long skinny pieces of metal and there are 4 of them. Usually they are attached to the bottom of the axil in the middle and the ends are connected to the car.
So my ex decided he was going to take the leaf springs off the bottom of the axil and put them on the top of the axil, thus raising the car a few inches. So that was a ton of work, because they didnt really want to fit on the top of the axil, but eventually we got it.
But little did he realize that now that his car was taller, his driveshaft was now too short. For those of you who arent grease monkeys, they drive shaft it what comes out of the transmission (i think) and is connected to the axil and it makes your tires go. So it's an important part, and when it isnt long enough it falls out when you are driving. That is bad.
So my ex went to the jeep junkyard and found another driveshaft that was longer. But I think he just guessed on how long it was really supposed to be cause this one was too long. And every time he'd stop too fast or go over a big bump it would smash into the transmission. It made bad noises.
So my last grease monkey experience was when we were taking the transmission out of his car, which turned into a huge mess. It started raining and stuff was leaking out, and then when they did get the transmission out it fell over and spilled transmission goo all over the driveway.
And then my boyfriend dumped me and went to the Czech republic for the rest of the summer, and that was the end of my grease monkey experiences, except that one time I helped jump Jacob B's car, but that's not really hard cause all the instructions were on the bag.
keep a box of nitrile gloves handy, and put them on when it's time to eat. they even come in purple. :)
-mel
Thanks for all the suggestions. I corrected ``dawned.'' I'll avoid putting leaf springs anywhere other than where they belong. And I'll look into the nitrile gloves...
Though I'd prefer if I were going to have disposable gloves that they also be edible. That way there is nothing to clean up, and it is just better for the environment.
I am one of the biggest Grease Monkey's know to man and if someone is the type of person they have to wear gloves while doing a little work then I say "Pansy". If someone has a little problem with getting there hands a little dirty or can't handle a little grease or god knows what in there food, I say "leave it to the real men!"
These type of people that when something happens to thier car, these poor fools are stranded on the side of the road looking aimlessly at there car, scratching there head. And still at that not even having a clue at what they are even looking at, but wonder why they get raped by the wrecker driver and the shops.
So I say to the edible glove comment, brilliant idea as long as it holds all the grease, dirt, brake fluid, metal shaving's and god know's what. I would have to take serious consideration on investing on a life time supply.
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